(This was originally written a couple years ago.)
I should start by saying that I'm bound to complain a lot in this blog. For better or worse, it's kind of what I do. And most of what I'm going to complain about are first world problems. I'm a modern woman, who, in following her "dreams", stepped into a modern booby trap. Or, I might just be kidding myself and these issues are as old as the hills. Six of one, half dozen of the other, I guess.
My day to day hasn't been from a mold for over a decade. In 2002 I was downsized by the first and only corporate job I had. What a job it was. For five years I was a jack-of-all-trades at an internet start up that consisted of five people at the beginning, 350 at the end. I rode the Internet bubble hard at that gig. And, as was typical of that day and age, I made some money but gained more knowledge and connections than anything else.
So after, I took those connections and that knowledge and started my own marketing consulting company. Although I didn't know that's what I was doing at the time. I was unemployed. A consulting gig fell into my lap. Money came in. More opportunities opened up. More money came in. The next thing I knew I needed to hire people to get the jobs that I had done and so it became a real business. I promoted a crazy-variety of products during those years. Everything from calendars that you hang on the wall to tools that professional garages use to rotate your tires to delicate Wizard of Oz music boxes to gourmet grocery delivery. I once helped out a new-age musician whose mantra meditations I still put on when I'm stressed.
But the whole time I was in marketing, I knew that I'd stepped off of a path. And, don't get me wrong, I loved marketing while I was doing it. It was fun and exciting most days. But I first came to Chicago to get my master's in journalism. I wrote constantly as a kid. I excelled in writing in high school and college. I've dabbled in fiction and poetry on and off for years, attending various workshops, classes, etc.
So I turned 40 and it seemed like if I was ever going to get back on the writing path, it was time to do it. So, I did. I shut down my business. We kept the nanny so I can have full days to write. And here I am, many days feeling as though I've jumped off a cliff. I still don't have a good schedule down. I still struggle with my writing process. I've got complications galore. But I'm trying. And some days I write some good things. And other days I'm less sure of the goodness of what comes out. Other days. I just want to say screw it and eat a lot. But I'm learning. And digging deep. I can't ask for much more than that.